The Good Left Undone
by gs-prime
Summary: When theres nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire.xX A Leah Clearwater Story. Rated for launguage and maybe some other stuff later.
1. Preface The Good Left Undone

**_Ok so this song sort of . . . sets the mood for Leah, as a person and everything she has been through and the whole angsty story I guess. __I thought __it a really good title for the story. (you should listen to the song its awesome)_**

_**I didn't write the song, It's by rise against.**_

_**Thanks Boys!**_

* * *

The Good Left Undone-By Rise Against

In fields where nothing grew but weeds,  
I found a flower at my feet,  
bending there in my direction.  
I wrapped a hand around its stem  
and pulled until the roots gave in,  
finding there what I've been missing.  
And I know....

So I tell myself, I tell myself, it's wrong.  
There's a point we pass from which we can't return.  
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm...

All because of you,  
I haven't slept in so long.  
When I do I dream  
of drowning in the ocean;  
longing for the shore  
where I can lay my head down.  
I'll follow your voice;  
all you have to do is  
shout it out!

Inside my hands these petals browned;  
dried up falling to the ground,  
but it was already too late now.  
I pushed my fingers through the earth,  
returned this flower to the dirt;  
so it could live, I walked away now.  
But I know...

Not a day goes by when I don't feel this burn.  
There's a point we pass from which we can't return.  
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm...

All because of you,  
I haven't slept in so long.  
When I do I dream  
of drowning in the ocean;  
longing for the shore  
where I can lay my head down.  
I'll follow your voice;  
all you have to do is  
shout it out!

All because of you.  
All because of you.

All because of you,  
I haven't slept in so long.  
When I do I dream  
of drowning in the ocean;  
longing for the shore  
where I can lay my head down.  
Inside these arms of yours.

All because of you  
I believe in angels.  
Not the kind with wings,  
no, not the kind with halos;  
the kind that bring you home  
when home becomes a strange place.  
I'll follow your voice;  
all you have to do is  
shout it out!

* * *

**_I will be putting the prologue up very soon. . .in fact it may already be there by the time you read this._**

**_Love_**

**_G. Spike_**

**_xX_**


	2. Prologue Fiction pt1

**_Alright, so I'm Georgie Spike (in case you were wondering) and this is the first fic I've written since I was about 13(so be nice. . .or not. Whatever) and my first twilight fic. This is just the prologue(which I've split into 2 part, it's really long). You don't have to read the prologue to get the rest of the story but you should probably read the twilight saga._**

**_The prologue happens around the end of new moon but the rest of the story starts from around the middle of Eclipse and will go to (Lord willing, if all goes well) the end of breaking dawn. It's basically the story from Leah Clearwater's perspective, with maybe a few little tweaks. . .yeah defiantly a few little tweaks lol._**

**_That being said I own nothing. No characters ('cept Leila) nothing. And the song excerpt below is called Fiction and its by Kids in the Way.( a song so awesome I had it tattooed on my arm)_**

**_As you can see I took the first paragraph directly from new moon, Stephanie Meyer talks alot about dreams in her books and I absolutely love dreams. So I thought that was a nice little nod to Miss Meyer and the twilight saga._**

**_Ok, now read._**

**_xX_**

* * *

_I had the strangest dream  
That you were lost at sea  
I found you drowning on the ocean floor  
I woke from my deep sleep to end the misery  
I found you lying outside of my door  
I tried to wake you up  
To shake you up  
And found out you were dead _

_Like a leaf in the wind you left me standing alone  
To face the demons in my head_

_

* * *

_

I was ninety nine point nine percent sure I was dreaming. The reasons I was so certain were that first, I was standing in a bright shaft of sunlight, the kind of blinding clear sun that never shone on the drizzly Quileute reservation- and second, there was a man next to me.

He was a man I knew well but almost never saw. Not anymore. On the rare occasion I did see him he would mostly give me a sad, guilty sort of glance, maybe an awkward wave. No. this was defiantly a dream because this man didn't look awkward at all. I looked up at him and he smiled down at me, lighting up my world. There was absolutely no room for sadness or guilt or really anything negative in his perfect features. Looking back at him I felt my own face break into a wide smile that almost never touched my lips. Not anymore.

How strange that I should be so completely happy, knowing full well that I was dreaming and would have to wake up. Though my smile didn't falter, the thought brought tears to my eyes. The man looked confused for just a moment, then gently, he reached over and wiped away my tears. I closed my eyes and leaned my face into his hand, for once totally content.

And then everything changed. No longer were we standing in the sun. we were _running._ Though from what I didn't know. This wasn't regular dream-running where you run from something that eventually catches you. It seemed . . . we were running because we loved to run. Running because we were so fast we were almost flying, neither following, neither leading just running.

Then just like a movie it changed again – as dreams sometimes do – flashing back to the circle of trees where we were just standing, like we'd been there the whole time. Like we hadn't just been running too fast through the too bright forest. I opened my eyes glad he was smiling again, though he was way too happy to see me

_He doesn't belong to me anymore._

For some reason, I didn't care. I didn't care that he didn't belong to me. I didn't care that I was dreaming I just wanted to enjoy whatever time I had with him in this wonderful dream, though I knew it wouldn't last. I put my hand over his, still cupping my cheek as if to hold him there forever.

And then we were running again, although this time we weren't alone. This time we were running astride two of the biggest creatures I'd ever seen. _Wolves._ Although they were clearly more than usual they were defiantly wolves, one a silvery gray and the other black as coal.

How strange that I wasn't afraid, as he wasn't. How strange that we were able to keep up with these awesome beasts with their powerful legs pushing them to near impossible speeds, and me there next to them, keeping pace effortlessly.

And then everything changed again, as if the forest itself came to a halt while we were running, everything was gone. The sunlight, the wolves and Sam, everything. It was all gone. I was _alone._ The suddenness of it scared the hell out of, and I stopped running and looked around. I was in the forest, in the dark, _alone._ And it was raining again.

This was the part I was dreading. I tried desperately to wake myself up but I couldn't. So stuck in my dream, in the middle of the forest, I fell to my knees and cried my heart out.

_Where had he gone?_

_Why was I alone?_

_Sam . . . _

I jolted awake, gasping for breath as I took in my surroundings.

I was in my bed.

In my room.

In my house.

I sighed and tried for a moment to slow down my heart.

_What the hell was that._

It'd been so long since I dreamt of him, and even when I had it hadn't been like _that._ Not that . . .intense. what the hell was wrong with me. I half laughed humorlessly at myself and rolled out of bed.

I walked across the room pausing to look at myself in the mirror. I groaned. Big mistake. I'd gone out with my friend Leila last night, something I _never_ did. I didn't have friends anymore. Not really anyway, but Leila was nice and we worked together so last night us and some of her friends went dancing- another thing I never did. Even back when I was happy. Admittedly though I'd had a good time, I mean it wasn't so bad. It was actually kind of nice having another girl to hang out with and since Leila was 22, after the club we even had a few drinks (or more in my case) in the parking lot of course me being only nineteen. It wasn't the first time I'd tasted alcohol but I'd defiantly never had so much. I loved the feeling I got from it. Like I could say whatever I wanted with no consequences. I thought I might make it a regular thing. Until I got home that is. I had spent the first hours of the morning on my knees in the little bathroom I shared with my brother, trying to be quite about upchucking everything I'd eaten in the last week, before passing out promptly at three am.

And man oh man did it show. I looked. . .pretty damn bad. In a word. . .haggard.

"ugh" I groaned again and slipped on my flip flops, suddenly realizing I was starving.

But where was everyone? It was so quiet. It was just me, my brother Seth and my parents who lived here but still . it was the middle of spring break and it was (I picked up my phone and checked the time) one o clock. Shouldn't my little brother and his loser friends be downstairs, playing video games and eating through a weeks worth of food right now? Weird. I had the house to myself.

I figured I'd take advantage of the time without my mother. Slipping my phone into my pocket I fished around in my purse until I found what I was looking for.

Camel no.9s and a little black lighter.

Yeah, sure being nineteen I could do what I want. Old enough to buy cigarettes. Yada yada yada. I was still way to chicken to face my mother. The woman was scary! If she ever caught me smoking. . .i shuddered. So yes, maybe I was going a little too fast down the stairs, not knowing when my parents would get home when. .

BAM!

My head collided with something completely solid that I was certain wasn't there yesterday. So hard I fell back on the stairs.

"Fuck!"I swore loudly, glad again that my mother was currently elsewhere. Bright white spots popped in front of my eyes blocking my sight. "Shit . . "I swore again, not quite as loud that time. I alternated between squeezing my eyes shut tight and blinking rapidly until I regained my sight. Shaking my head slightly and preparing myself for the onslaught of the inevitable pain that would upgrade my hangover-headache to a full blown migraine I looked up to see what had hit me, that is to say. . .what I had hit, Though somehow, I already knew.

It was the ceiling.

You know? That low edge of the ceiling you see when coming down the stairs, that's also simultaneously a wall? Yeah. That. I'd watched my brother do the same thing not 2 months ago when his growth sprut started.

"walk much?" I had laughed and stepped over him where he was lying back on the stairs, just like I was now. He was much taller now (the way that kid grew!) but there was no way I was as tall as he was then. He'd been almost six feet tall! I remembered a couple days ago my mother had said something about me being taller but there was no way I'd grown _that_ much. There was just no way.

I laid there for a couple minutes staring dumbly at the cursed ceiling/wall before shrugging and deciding I didn't care. I wanted to smoke. Very slowly, cautiously, using the railing for support I slumped down the remainder of the stairs and retrieved my pack and lighter from where I'd dropped them when I'd nearly knocked myself into oblivion. Grumbling, I made my way through the rest of the house and pushed myself through the back door and slowly lowered myself to sit on the steps of the back porch, "porch" being out three feet of wood and two steps that led to a vast expanse of tangled grass, weeds and well. . .mush, which eventually ended in trees. I spit sullenly out on "the field" - as my brother and I still called it- and pulled out a cigarette. Holding it between my lips with my teeth, I lit the end of it, filling my lungs with smoke. I exhaled slowly, the smoke in my lungs snaking its way back out over my tongue and through my lips, trying not to think about Sam.

I was honestly fine as long as I didn't have to talk about him, as long as not on else spoke about him, and as long as I didn't even have to think about Sam Uley, I was fine. But I was thinking about him, that bizarre dream had put him right smack dab in my direct train of thoughts.

I knew, with every bone in my body, I _knew_ that I would never stop loving him, the way he had quite obviously stopped loving me, even if I could somehow someday, possibly love someone else. They would always be second place. I would always love Sam more. I brought the cigarette back between my lips and took another drag, the thick smoke and hint of vanilla calming me slightly and laughed at myself.

How could I ever love someone else? How could I ever trust anyone else? That kind of thing just didn't seem to be. . . in be anymore, and what was the point? Love? Trust? I couldn't even grasp the concept. I hated being alone but it wouldn't even be worth it to love again if there was a chance of getting hurt.

Just then I heard the front door open and then close. "shit. . " I ground my half smoked cigarette into the ground.

"Mom?" I called innocently after blowing the remaining smoke out of my lungs "dad?"

"They're not home yet."Seth called from inside the house, suddenly appearing at the screen door. "smoking again?"he grinned. Dammit!! I had forgotten to close the screen door, the whole house probably smelled like smoke.

"Shut up." I muttered. He opened the door and sat down next to me.

"Don't worry," he said "I'm pretty sure they're gone for the day."I mentally sighed. Good. I'd have time to get the smell out.

"Where've you been?" I asked. His expression changed, his eyebrows pulling together in a sort of confused frown.

"Just . . . walking around." He muttered. I narrowed my eyes at him,

"really?" I asked dubiously. He nodded.

"I ran into Jake."

Ugh. Jacob Black. I rolled my eyes. I don't know why, I just didn't like the kid. He got on my nerves. Plus he'd been hanging around with Sam's "crew" lately, so whenever I saw Jacob anymore, I had to see Sam.

"He was acting really weird" Seth Continued. Made sense. Sam's crew _was_ weird. _The protectors_ I scoffed.

"Weird how?" I asked lighting up another cigarette.

"I dunno" he said " I haven't seen him in a while ya know? So I asked him what he's been up to, and he just kinda shrugged without even looking at me, and then he just took off!!"

"Oh whatever dude!!" I said making a mental not to kick Jacob the next time I saw him. "Jacob is lame, just forget about him." I didn't like Jacob but my brother adored him and it really ticked me off that Jake would just blow him off like that.

"I dunno. . ." Seth shrugged. "_I_ thought we were friends."

"hey," I said putting my hand on his shoulder "whatever."

"yeah I guess." He muttered. I sighed. There were few things in life I cared about anymore and Seth was one of the "few". He was basically the only "few". My little brother and only real friend.

My phone vibrated in my pocket making me jump. I put my cigarette in my other hand and looked at the number

"Leila. ." I said to myself.

"Disgusting. . " Seth muttered and stood up. He liked Leila about as much as I liked Jacob Black. I whacked him playfully on the calf as he turned to go in the house and answered the phone.

"Hello? Leah?" her voice sounded oddly shrill compared to Seth's.

"yeah . . .yeah it's me. Who else?" I answered, cringing.

"Oh, How you feeling?" she asked dubiously. I groaned. "that good huh?. . .well anyway what're you up to tonight?"I had to smile. How could she be so chipper? She'd drank as much as I had last night. Didn't she feel like shit too?

"nothing I guess" I answered "why what're you doing?"

She ignored my question."Hey do you remember Owen?". I had to think for a minute.

"The one who drove us home?"

"Yeah,"she said "the really cute one"

I didn't get it. "okay. . .yeah. . yeah I think so, why?

"Because I got you a date!" she squealed. Like 'surprise!! Jump up and down now!!'

"what?!" I very nearly shrieked.

"Okay, please?" I didn't 'date'. I didn't even know how. Granted I'd never tried but I didn't want to! "please Leah, I'll make it up to you, I promise!"

"I . . . wha- did you lose a bet or something?!" I sputtered.

"no!" she answered, sounding almost as indignant as I felt. "its nothing like that, its just that, after we dropped you off last night. . .this morning whatever me and Haillee went with him to pick up his younger brother, Will. . ." like that explained everything.

"and?!" I pressed.

"And well!! He's really really cute lee, but him and Owen wanted to hang out. . .it's his last night in town and all. . . but he said if I found a date for Owen we could all go out you know. . ."

"uh-huh . . . well what about that blonde girl, Megan or Jenifer or. . "

"Oh you mean Scarlett? No. shes seeing someone, and besides he _likes _you Leah."

I groaned. Great!!"oh come on Leah, what else are you doing tonight?"

I rolled my eyes, even though she couldn't see me and took another puff on my almost-forgotten cigarette.

"fine" I grumbled

"awesome! We'll pick you up at six!"

"Terrific"

She laughed. "you're so weird, Leah"and then she hung up.

"whatever. . ." I muttered fighting the urge to throw my phone into "the field" and finished my cigarette.

-x-

* * *

_**yes I know, sort of non-eventfull, Part 2 is better, I should have it up in a week or 2.**_

_**Please review, I'd love to know what you think.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Georgie Spike**_

_**xX**_


End file.
